As I scribbled

Source: My Diary  April 17, 1992. On my 30th Birthday, I knew too much. That library on my head was doing little than either give an already engineered direction, or exhaust me thinking of the best idea. As I had learnt about direction, it was based on being on the road first, and the road was outside my mind. Ideas always hit me and came by surprise, so there was no need to think. Then why should I allow the perpetual tick tick or follow a rhetoric. The tick tick and the rusted record was the first that I burnt making Biryani for my friends that evening. Oh, that was a huge party that evening at my Barsaati in Safdarjung Enclave. So when I welcomed my friends I knew I was already in a Heaven.

The following morning, I inked some promises for the year: 1.      I am never right. Let me be the brave one to accept idea of being wrong. Does not matter if I am seen unambitious, stupid, idiot or whatever. If that meant ending a great relationship or taking stress and pain, for me or another, let that be. Let Time prove that. 2.      I won’t control. Set the situations, events, people free: they are not my gift to mankind, so I have no ownership. Whether they are loved ones, co workers, or just strangers, I will let them be. If they like what I say, it is great. If they don’t, it is greater. Time will tell. 3.      No blame. No blaming me or another. A blame is a by product of guilt and I don’t want that to eat into my unique and unknown powers. It is My life and I am responsible – good or bad. 4.      No self-defeating self-talk. Oh my, that is the biggest well for a sink. How on earth can I talk inside, within me after something has already happened and gone? That is giving way to Mr Record who knows only way – round and round and round, and drives me away from the roundness outside. 5.      Burn my beliefs – A party is the best opportunity. About what I can or cannot do. About what is possible or impossible. From now on, no sticking with boundaries, limited definitions.  Spread my wings and fly – the world outside likes fresh out of garden stuff. 6.      No impressions. Impressions are imagery, surreal and mythical. They cover the original and when a strong wind blows past, I would not know what the original was. 7.      Change and Adapt.  If Survival is the key to being, having the capacity to mould and come right back has to be an art. Change is good. Change will help move from A to B. Change shows the opportunity. 8.      Unlabel. So what if advertising is my profession, branding I know is a cultivated exhibition.  Things, people or events are not commodities. So they cannot carry a label. No label, no brands. Mind works when open and free.  9.       Fear – please go and love your Creator. Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – I gave an experience that name. 10.  Past just flew by. I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but it is in the present moment I took all the best decisions. For the Best to stay with me always, let only the present be. 11.  No Gluing. Hardest one as a human in me, so let me chastise it to believe. I know you are the Queen Princess inside, Ms Attachment. If we make love like this forever, you will get fed up of the Me Boring, and I will get fed up of the You Boring. For both of us to stay forever pink, let us keep that pure space between us. And let us wait until we really cant do without one another. Then you know how we would treasure every little moment of togetherness. In a state beyond words and feelings. Then we must go back once again for another 10 years. Alright, stop the sulk, 7 years...ok, 5 years..... so when we meet we can have another blast  - bit by bit. Unrecordable, unbelievable and unknowable. 12.  People can have their expectations. God never asked me to live other’s expectations. I have seen way too many people live lives not theirs. Living for what others think is best for them, for what the parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. That is a trap for me and I am happy saying Love you from a distance. On my 31st journey, I have one life – this one right now – I must live it, own it, and none, nor an opinion will distract me from my path. Thank you Mr Mirza for sharing with me your Mantra. It really works.